clean up edits and chapter 15 done, 16 in draft

chapters/book2/ch04-final.md

@@ -46,7 +46,7 @@ I'd noticed the price at the time. Twelve hundred for a Mallory original was low
 
 "The vendor," I said. "Still in Drenwick?"
 
-Leon looked at me, and the guilt that had been sitting behind his eyes for the last thirty seconds got packed away — not gone, just boxed, the way Leon handled everything that threatened to slow him down. Fast emotional cycling. Process and move on. Except this time, the processing was going to take longer than he wanted.
+Leon looked at me, and whatever had been sitting behind his eyes for the last thirty seconds got packed away — not gone, just boxed, the way Leon handled everything that threatened to slow him down. Fast emotional cycling. Process and move on. Except this time, the processing was going to take longer than he wanted.
 
 "He's still here," Leon said. "I was planning to visit him anyway."
 
@@ -84,7 +84,7 @@ While they haggled over the Telessi sleeve, I moved to the counter and waited fo
 
 "The Mallory crystal," I said. "The one Leon sold you six months ago."
 
-Harren's appraisal eyes landed on me and did their two-second calculation. He glanced at Leon, who gave a fractional nod.
+Harren's gaze landed on me and did its two-second inventory. He glanced at Leon, who gave a fractional nod.
 
 "Sold it," Harren said. "Within the month. Pre-Compact Mallory pieces don't sit on shelves."
 
@@ -98,11 +98,11 @@ His expression went flat. The warmth he'd been showing Leon — the repeat-custo
 
 "Then you understand why this conversation is over."
 
-I looked at Leon. Leon was holding the Telessi sleeve up to the light, turning it slowly, not looking at either of us. But his jaw had set.
+I looked at Leon. He was holding the Telessi sleeve up to the light, turning it slowly, not looking at either of us. But his jaw had set.
 
-"Harren," Leon said, still examining the sleeve. "That crystal is being used to drain people. Life force. Seven victims in six weeks, and the count is climbing." He set the sleeve down carefully and looked at Harren. Just looked at him — the same even calm he used for everything, except his eyes were doing something different. "I sold it to you. You sold it to someone else. The chain runs through both of us." A beat. "I'd prefer to keep this between professionals."
+"Harren," Leon said, still examining it. "That crystal is being used to drain people. Life force. Seven victims in six weeks, and the count is climbing." He set the sleeve down carefully and looked at Harren. Just looked at him — the same even calm he used for everything, except his eyes were doing something different. "I sold it to you. You sold it to someone else. The chain runs through both of us." A beat. "I'd prefer to keep this between professionals."
 
-Harren was quiet for a long moment. His eyes moved between Leon and me, running calculations that had nothing to do with prices.
+Harren was quiet for a long moment. His attention moved between Leon and me, weighing something that had nothing to do with prices.
 
 "An intermediary," he said finally, and each word cost him something. "Paid through a broker — clean transaction, sealed funds, no direct contact." He said this the way someone describes the weather: factual, neutral, not his problem anymore. "The broker handled the approach. Said his client was a collector with specific interest in life-force adjacent artifacts. Academic interest, he said."
 
@@ -110,7 +110,7 @@ Harren was quiet for a long moment. His eyes moved between Leon and me, running
 
 "Can you describe the intermediary?"
 
-Harren looked at Leon one more time. Whatever he saw there finished the calculation.
+Harren looked at Leon one more time. Whatever he saw there settled something.
 
 "Average height. Professional clothing, not expensive — dressed to be forgettable. Knew exactly what he was looking at when I showed him the crystal. Checked the inscription, tested the anchoring integrity, asked about the conversion efficiency. Not a collector's questions — a practitioner's questions."
 
@@ -118,13 +118,11 @@ Harren looked at Leon one more time. Whatever he saw there finished the calculat
 
 "Asked by the intermediary. He knew what he was looking for." Harren paused, weighing something. The two-second appraisal turned into a five-second one. "There were broker inquiries afterward. Two, maybe three months later. Someone checking the provenance chain — who sold it, who handled it, where it was recovered from. Standard grey-market due diligence, or someone building a case file. I didn't respond."
 
-The provenance inquiries from a few months back — someone checking the chain of custody after the sale. Not idle curiosity. Due diligence. I filed that.
+I filed that.
 
 "The broker who handled the original sale," I said. "Name?"
 
-"The broker who handled the sale. Name?"
-
-Harren exhaled through his nose — the sound of a man who'd already given more than he wanted and was calculating exactly how much more he could afford.
+Harren exhaled through his nose — the sound of a man who'd already given more than he wanted and weighing exactly how much more he could afford.
 
 "Galden," he said. "The broker's name is Galden. Operates out of the canal district — Warehouse Row, third building from the junction. He handles acquisitions for clients who prefer not to appear in person. Discreet, professional. Expensive."
 
@@ -140,7 +138,7 @@ Outside, the arcane district's ward-stones hummed their usual clean suppression
 
 "I know, Leon."
 
-He went quiet. Then the operational pivot kicked in — I watched it happen, the guilt getting filed under something productive, the competence taking over because competence was safer than feeling.
+He went quiet. Then the pivot kicked in — I watched it happen, the weight getting filed under something productive, the competence taking over because competence was safer than feeling.
 
 "Galden," he said. "I know the name. Canal district broker, handles the upper end of the grey market. If he facilitated the sale, the buyer had resources and knew what they wanted. This wasn't an impulse purchase."
 
@@ -148,7 +146,7 @@ He went quiet. Then the operational pivot kicked in — I watched it happen, the
 
 "I can get to Galden faster than you can. I know how brokers work — what they'll give up, what they'll protect, how to frame the ask so it sounds like a business opportunity instead of an interrogation."
 
-He was throwing himself into the investigation the way a man throws himself into work when the alternative is sitting with what he's done. I recognised the mechanism because I used a different version of it. His version was louder, more kinetic — mine was colder and quieter, but the engineering was identical.
+He was throwing himself into the work the way a man fills silence with noise when the alternative is hearing what the silence has to say. I recognised the mechanism because I used a different version of it. His version was louder, more kinetic — mine was colder and quieter, but the engineering was identical.
 
 "Do it," I said. "And while you're in the canal district — Carter has a supplier problem. Three suppliers went quiet, coordinated. Compact intermediaries applying pressure. See if your contacts know anyone outside regulated channels who meets Carter's standards."
 
@@ -156,9 +154,9 @@ Leon almost smiled. "Carter's standards are higher than most Compact-certified s
 
 "That's his prerogative."
 
-"I'll find someone. It might take a few conversations." The operational mode was fully engaged now — multiple threads, parallel processing, his noise channelled into productivity. "Give me two days on Galden. The broker will talk if I frame it right."
+"I'll find someone. It might take a few conversations." The mode was fully engaged now — multiple threads, parallel processing, his noise channelled into productivity. "Give me two days on Galden. The broker will talk if I frame it right."
 
-We parted at the edge of the arcane district. Leon headed toward the canal with the Telessi sleeve in his coat and twelve hundred silvers' worth of guilt packed behind the operational facade. I headed toward the guild hall.
+We parted at the edge of the arcane district. Leon headed toward the canal with the Telessi sleeve in his coat and twelve hundred silvers' worth of guilt packed behind the professional mask. I headed toward the guild hall.
 
 * * *
 
@@ -192,7 +190,7 @@ Ledger pulled a second sheet from the folder. "Two new reports this morning. Bot
 
 "The earlier victims were surviving."
 
-"The earlier victims were surviving. These aren't, necessarily." He set the sheet down. "The instrument — whatever it is — is being used more frequently. Or with more force. Or both. The extraction volume is increasing."
+"These aren't. Not necessarily." He set the sheet down. "The instrument — whatever it is — is being used more frequently. Or with more force. Or both. The extraction volume is increasing."
 
 "Someone is getting desperate," I said.
 
@@ -214,7 +212,7 @@ I hadn't planned to say it. The sentence arrived in the room before the decision
 
 She looked up from the notes. "Which crystal?"
 
-"A Mallory focusing crystal. Pre-Compact. He recovered it from the Vethani Crypts and sold it to a traveling vendor about six months ago. The vendor sold it to an intermediary." I sat down across from her and realised I was still talking. "The intermediary asked practitioner's questions. Knew exactly what the crystal did. This was a targeted purchase, not opportunity."
+"A Mallory focusing crystal. Pre-Compact. He recovered it from the Vethani Crypts and sold it to a traveling vendor about six months ago. The vendor sold it to an intermediary." I sat down across from her and realised I was still talking. "The intermediary asked questions that weren't about collecting — they were about using. Knew exactly what the crystal did. This was a targeted purchase, not opportunity."
 
 "The crystal that's draining people."